My last post… (Patreon)

A little while ago, I came across an old post of mine, the first and second pictures here, and found myself wanting to share these new photographs I took today, wearing the leotard, alongside the words of Orestes.

I had felt unsettled and unaccountably low throughout the afternoon. During dinner, my mother and I had an argument; then, at approximately 2:15 a.m., I received a notification informing me that my Instagram account, @evangelinedelys, had been suspended.

I am deeply saddened. That account had become an important passageway through which new people discovered my work here on Patreon, and the support I receive means more to me than I can properly express.

Financially, things are not easy. Patreon helps me meet my expenses and, above all, enables me to continue creating. It has been a genuine source of sustenance, a quiet but essential support, so to lose the account so abruptly feels devastating. Along with it, I have lost the broadcast channel through which I remained connected to so many of you.

My history with Instagram has acquired an almost tragic absurdity. I believe I have lost approximately twenty accounts over the years. The most dispiriting part is that it always seems to happen at the same moment: when an account begins to gather an audience, when something finally begins to take root, it is taken away. Again and again. Always at the threshold of becoming. It has become a kind of recurring nightmare.

Tonight, everything feels precarious.

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[ID: a wikipedia article about "prophetic perfect tense". it reads, "the prophetic perfect tense is a literary technique used in the bible that describes future events that are so certain to happen that they are referred to in the past tense as if they had already happened." below is a timeline diagram illustrating the point of the text. there are two markings, one at the left marking "time prediction is made" and the other at the middle marking "prediction is fulfilled". there is a yellow arrow that goes from the first marking to the second. there is also an orange arrow that goes from the first marking beyond the second, then circles back to the second marking. it is labelled, "predicted future event described as if past event".

/end ID]