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Episode Twenty-Seven: The Magic of Profitabilities (Patreon)

Published:
2026-01-10 21:48:53
Edited:
2026-02-14 18:36:00
Imported:
2026-01
Tags:

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Content

Kevin and Jack (but mostly Kevin) tap into their inner evil and imagine a dystopian Walt Disney World that is much worse but much more profitable.

Comments

Liza

Best week ever!

Kattriella

Excellent, I was just wondering what I'm going to listen to at work tonight!

Didge Ridoo

I'm loving the villain arc here, who knew such darkness lurked in your hearts

BvD

Huzzah! I was just wondering what I was going to listen to tonight while working on my projects.

JP

Forget fireworks, functioning effects and animatronics on the rides are now an upcharge. You pay on the app and your phone is tracked so that the effects only turn on when your ride vehicle pass by

anarchicRealist

I wait patiently for the Make A Wish episode of the century where half the episode is just like "we're going to hell for this" 😂 coming from a kid who only went to disney once with my Make a Wish brother, it completely ruined the prospect of ever going again because it'd never be as good even just from the having to wait in queues perspective. The Make a Wish village is such a surreal place, Darth Vader visited our little mini Mickey themed house, that was crazy.

Mr Pipes

You guys missed a dark twist on the fireworks app. If no one's bought an effect, the app can ping an alert: "Oh no! 3:14:06 until the big show, and no one's sponsored 1a and 1b! Will you let Mickey down?"

Another Planet

This is what that pervert in Escape from Tomorrow thought Disney was

Another Planet

I’ve listened to this podcast so many times and I’ve never ever heard Kevin Defunctland more confident and proud of anything he’s said more than his evil evil evil ideas. He really is so good at it.

Another Planet

Imagine the havoc that would send through the dads gambling on what fireworks were gonna appear that night. How does this change the odds!?

Another Planet

CRAZY. And you know just how shit they are at tracking apps, so now you go on the ride and half the things you paid for don’t work, now we have to stand here arguing and escalating with different levels of park employees. Do they have to line up again for their fixed ride? Of course.

Another Planet

I do think we’re so close to having “become a disney vlogger for a day!” guided tours, with the most expensive options being your 30 sec short being posted in a compilation on a forgotten disney account somewhere.

Another Planet

One more, I feel like the next evolution of line waiting is Disney Plus waiting rooms stationed around the park where you get to rent time in a shitty room with expensive vending machines and no bathroom. Every individual is charged per half hour, you get a shitty little ipad and some headphones and it’s on you to remember when it’s your turn on the ride. I genuinely think a lot of people would be thrilled because of the lack of seats and shade. And maybe they leave their least favourite kid in there for longer than they should because adulting is so hard. We’re like two steps away from homeschoolers using it as daycare.

BvD

Thanks, I hate it. As soon as I heard of the partial day tickets, I was not only sure it would happen, but positive that it is being actively worked on already by Disney. They will initially be discounted off the pro-rate to soften the blow, but within three years will be functionally more expensive due to "add-ons."

Heather Taylor

Ghost byte is very passionate about this topic

Dennis Owens

A horrifying vision of the future.

monogramsalarm

I could see my parents bringing their great dane bc she's good at the pet store, so obviously that transfers to the environment of Disney

Candace

I used to work at the Nick Hotel and they charged a premium for private character meet-and-greets. During the holidays, guests even got to decide whether the character wore seasonal outfits. So yes, I fear Disney’s private mix-and-match character buffet is imminent 😱

Awasky Cromslack

I feel you have called this into being by speaking it.

Nemo2342

Oh god you got me at "Profitabilities"

Roller Joester

Refreshing lightning Lane Multi-Pass already feels like gambling being stuck in your phone. Gambling that we were lucky enough to be able to pay for!

Lynn Dawson

This podcast led to me having a dream (nightmare?) that... okay in this dream Arthur was still airing, and PBS still did those fundraising segments where they're trying to get you to call in. And they were saying if enough people called in, that Arthur would get a new bicycle (like actually in the show the animators would animate it). And it was like, "Don't you want Arthur to have a new bike? Then you need to call in and donate."

Jocelyn C

I used to work at Le Cellier and felt that dining plan line deep in my soul

Collette Castleford

Years ago, World of Color had a “Simon says” type mobile game that you could “win” the ability to control the lights on Mickey’s Fun wheel for 30 seconds. I’ve never encountered anyone who actually won the ability to control it, but they had a whole set up with a WiFi network and everything. Makes you think! This episode made me almost fall out of my chair from laughing. Iconic.

Adrianna

On the jukebox app topic; I played "Soda Pop" from KPop Demon Hunters at a dive bar a few weeks afo. People kept paying extra to have their song go to the top. It took over an hour and a half for it to play.

Danielle Schatten

I was 80% sure Kevin was gonna say "we are gonna charge people to fuck raw at Didney Worl"

Adam Kubiskey

The way my jaw dropped when the pay to scatter ashes idea came up.

danowano

Wait until you have to have a high enough Social Score I MEAN “credit score” to be considered for a ticket

a sad man

Hi guys, Bob Iger here, normally listen on the commute, had to pull over today to take notes, thanks for the great ideas, we are also thinking of some sort of exclusive way people could pay to be a cast members for the day

vampbunny

i think eventually there will be some sort of disney summer camp for parents that can only afford the kids part of the vacation or a daycare thing and it will be incredibly over prized. and also some sort of a disney princess babysitting thing and private chefs and stuff like that and thats why they banned third party providers, and also i think they will make sort of a ''non disney people'' area for relatives tha hate disney and will just charge absurd amounts of money for it and it will be like a mediocre aurport lounge, and also somesort of respite crisis thing to contain the kid whos ruining your vacation for your other kids or the spouse just like ruining your expensive trip and charge for it. and also some sort of premium shuttle vs the regular one. also a vacation home thing owned and operated by disney. also disney homeschool stuff, they could put a premium mall inside shaped like a princess land and um sell designer stuff and make a disney credit card for it and it will be sort of like a huge bibiddy boutique but for grown people. also some sort of teen lounge they will charge for or game consoles inside the rooms you have to pay to use or tvs you pay to watch. i think there will be premium rides you will have to pay and a tsa precheck for the security on the entrance and i think them not bringing those disney tea parties is a really big loss of money because if it was expensive then it will be worse now. also a disney strategy planning service rich people can pay for because rich people somehow cant figure out to plan a disney world trip. also a premium thing you pay so you can book the hardest things like cinderellas table before the plebs can and like a hotel tier above deluxe cuz people pay less for the disney four seasons than beach club despute beach club lacing the service of fs so you just introduce either a signature part of the resort or build a new signature resort or put the butler add on for any room

Liza

This is my new favorite episode, i've listened to this way too much.

Raven Blackrose

The whole ep was great, when y'all got to the Tony's bit I literally laughed so hard I threw up

Jett Jarrett

I died when they kept signing see you again in regards to the funerals

Chareth Cutestory

8:45 “But sweetie, Dad just wants one turn at the round table”

Derek

small note on the bit at 7:55 on manipulating physical objects for gambling purposes: slot machines, even the ones with physical reels, are fully determined by digital random number generators, and they have been since the 80s. (https://patents.google.com/patent/US4448419A/en)

Ava Centore

the staggered entrance times really coming to fruition with the after 2pm ticket they introduced in wdw 💀