Book 9, chapters 1 and 2. (Patreon)

Sorry for the recent slowness. I had four weeks in four places in a row AND I'm in the process of moving. Lots of stuff is written, but it's still a jumbled mess. Thank you all for you continued support.

Part 1 

HORRIBLE 3. 

THIS INEVITABLE RUIN. 

Chapter 1

...

Quasar gave me a sad smile, and he clicked the button. I’d just rejected the deal. 

“That’s that, then. No more deals will be offered. Okay, buddy. Good luck. I don’t know if...when I will see you again, but just know I’m pulling for you. Not just me. I’m still working on everything we talked about. If something happens to me, my associate Kiki will take over. She’s a good one, so don’t worry about that. She’s better than me.”

You will transfer to the next floor in s-s-s-sixteen seconds.  

“Wait,” I said. “What do you mean by that? What aren’t you telling me?” 

Quasar shook his head, and the screen of heavy vape smoke dissipated. When he turned, I saw the whole left half of his face was covered in blood. He had some on his jacket arm, too.  

“What the hell? Your head! What’s going on?” 

“Whatever happens next, kid, I want you to know. There are a lot of people pulling for you out here. And not just cheering for you like they used to. Not like the way they’d cheer on a boxing match. They want you to actually succeed. Things, they have to change. Good luck.” 

“Wait!” 

...

Welcome, Bitches. Welcome to the Ascendency Games! 

This is gonna be good.  

Gods still in play*†: 945

Subjugated gods†: 151

OI units in the dungeon*†: 5

Scolopendra attacks remaining: 7

Crawlers remaining*: 13

* Numbers denoted by an asterisks mean the numbers in this category contain at least one participant who can also be listed in another category. Meaning, it’s possible there is a deity who is also an OI unit, etc. 

Note: I can’t FUCKING see what is happening on the 15th floor even though it’s still, technically, in the dungeon. A † symbol indicates I suspect there may be members of this category in Sheol. Also note, any former crawler who remains in the dungeon but outside the playing field is now denoted as an NPC. 

Entering the Cotton Fields. 

The throne of the Basilica has been abandoned by the current regent, Taranis. The next deity to sit upon the throne and survive a vote of confidence by the circle will be crowned the Ascendent.  

System Message: The throne is currently empty. 

System Message: The deity Koalemos has placed himself upon the throne. 

All hail Koalemos, potential ruler of the heavens. 

Voting will commence at the end of the next bell, which will be in 12 hours. 

Warning: You left a faith while owing a debt. You now have the Unfaithful debuff. 

Warning: You owe a debt to a fallen god. 

Warning: Your debt has been assigned to the Collector. 

Warning: Your location has been marked by the Collector. 

Warning: The Collector is coming. 

I landed face-first onto a field of waist-high brush. The poky, thick brambles all had sharp bulbs at the end, sticking into me. 

“Gah,” I said, sitting up, looking around. I was alone. It was warm, humid. Above, the sky was a bright blue, but there was no sun. I looked at my map, but I couldn’t see anyone near me. I pulled myself to my feet and looked about. 

“Donut?” I called. There was no answer. I clicked into the party menu, and she was still listed, but she wasn’t on the floor yet. I relaxed. 

My eyes caught the distant city. 

No, not city. 

It was a sprawling temple complex the size of a mountain, but it was all one building, reaching into the air. The main tower looked oddly like a cooling tower from a nuclear power plant, but with a bumpy, uneven surface. According to the cookbook, the walls of the temple were adorned with intricate carvings representing each of the gods. There were thousands of them.  

The whole edifice glittered in the light. This was surrounded by a jumble of towers and pinnacles that just went on and on in every direction, a mishmash of styles that didn’t make sense. Every square inch was made of shining gold.  

Yet, it seemed oddly familiar, and it took me only a moment to realize where I’d seen something like this before.

Las Vegas. It was like they’d taken every casino on the strip, turned them into one building, and covered it all in gold. There were no neon lights like in Vegas or Hungry Eyes Village on the previous floor, yet this was so much more gaudy, more cheap looking. Nothing about it seemed holy.  

The Halls of the Ascendency. That’s what this massive building was called until someone won the game. The tower in the center was the basilica. It was here where the Ascendency games were played. 

I had multiple messages, but before I could check them, a new one popped up.   

The Scavenger’s Daughter has fluttered her eyes. You are in the presence of multiple deities. 

This floor’s ruleset has affected the Scavenger’s Daughter patch. Deity bonuses and debuffs will only be active when you are in direct proximity and the deity is outside the aura of the basilica. 

“What the hell does that mean?” I muttered as I sat up. 

Donut: CARL, CARL. I’M HERE. WHERE ARE YOU? 

Carl: I’m here. Don’t move. Hang on, let me find you. 

I took another look at the map. Similar to the 9th floor, the map was a giant circle, but the total area was bigger. Much bigger. I was in the Cotton Fields, a ring that surrounded the Halls of the Ascendency. And past the cotton fields around the edges was something called the Ether. In the center of it all was the massive, glittering compound. 

I found Donut. She was about a half kilometer away. West of here. I turned to look if I could see her, but there was nothing. It was only then that I realized my vision of the fields was being oddly obscured. Like the air above the cotton was almost liquid, mirage-like. There was a sheen to the air, filtering my vision.

There could be anything out there, and I wouldn’t know. 

It was like this no matter which direction I focused my gaze, except when I looked south toward the Halls, and then everything cleared.

Weird. We’ll figure it out later. 

I returned my attention to the map and scanned until I caught what I was looking for. It was just about five kilometers away, in the opposite direction from where Donut was. A circle on the map. 

Larracos. 

We’d transferred the funnel of Larracos from the 9th floor here, and it was just in the middle of the cotton fields. 

Donut: MORDECAI HELP ME PICK A CLASS! 

Mordecai: I’m a little busy dealing with the pig and Carl’s goddamned girlfriend. Her race and name is literally “Sexy Scolopendra.” She’s swiping through class selection now, but it’s not letting her pick another race. Penny does have racial choices, so we’ll see if she stays a pig. The blood bar is halved here, so I gotta get them situated fast. Thankfully we’re in Larracos. Both of you need to get here quickly because we need to figure out what to do about this psychotic centipede. If not, you’re all dead.  

Carl: She’s only level 1. Will the seven remaining attacks still fuck everything? 

Mordecai: Yes, and she’s threatening to release the next one now if you don’t get here right away. 

I groaned. 

Carl: Tell her I’m coming, but I got to get to Donut first.

Donut: HMMM, LOTS OF GOOD CHOICES. THESE ALL COME WITH MERCENARIES. 

Mordecai: Be careful. Your map won’t be fully reliable in the fields. 

Carl: Also, what’s the Collector?

Mordecai: Goddamnit, Carl. Did you steal something from...oh fuck me. You didn’t pay off that ring like I told you to?  

Carl: You said I could, technically, leave the faith with the debt, but even if I survived the smite, his minions would hunt me. I figured he’d be dead, so he wouldn’t have minions any more.  

Mordecai: Holy shit, okay. And I warned you about doing it that way. I warned you about the unfaithful debuff. 

Carl: Everyone is going to hate me already. Look, we ran out of money. 

Mordecai: We are on the 12th goddamned floor, and you’re still getting your ass in trouble because you’re not telling me the full story. Get here fast, and I will explain. He’ll be invisible on your map, but you’ll see him coming, even through the miasma. Probably. He takes on a different form every season. If he catches you, don’t try to fight. And do not extend the loan. 

I started jogging toward Donut’s location, keeping a wary eye on the scratchy cotton for monsters I couldn’t see. I kept catching movement in my peripheral vision, but when I turned, it wasn’t there. I had the sense I was surrounded by enormous, Godzilla-sized monsters that were right there in front of me, but I just couldn’t see or hear them. It was an unsettling feeling. 

Carl: Donut, check your glasses and tell me if you can see properly down here. 

Donut: IT SAYS MY GLASSES DON’T WORK IN THE COTTON FIELDS. IT’S REALLY WEIRD BECAUSE IT’S REALLY NICE AND BRIGHT OUTSIDE. WHAT DID MORDECAI MEAN BY THE UNFAITHFUL DEBUFF? WHAT IS THAT? 

Carl: I’ll explain later. I’ll be at your position in a couple minutes. 

The Unfaithful debuff, awarded to people who left a faith while the god was actively pissed at them, was well-documented in the cookbook, and I’d already seen a few crawlers with it in the past. It was a minor curse that kept one from being able to pledge themselves to a new deity without the blessing from a high priest or the deity itself. It also meant one raised guard hostility in all temples. The effects faded with time.  

Donut: OHHH, LOOK AT THIS ONE. VIBE CODER. IT’S NOT IN THE SECOND TAB, BUT IT COMES WITH A LEVEL-10 SPELL CALLED OPPOSITE DAY AND SOMETHING CALLED BACKDOOR ACCESS. THAT SOUNDS OBSCENE. OH, IT COMES WITH A PERSONAL ASSISTANT!

In the distance ahead, I heard Mongo’s distinctive howl, but I didn’t yet seem him. I hesitated but then I pulled Rend out and zapped him next to me. The giant meatball rolled to a stop, stood on his two elephant legs, and let out a deep giggle. He turned in a circle, taking in the cotton, then he promptly tried to eat one of the plants. 

“Yucky,” he said, spitting it out. 

“Stay close. Come on,” I said, resuming my careful jog toward Donut. He let out a grunt and started following.   

Mordecai: Oh, shit. Get that Vibe Coder class. I don’t know what the assistant is, but backdoor access will allow you to tweak your spells to have slightly different effects. You’ll get three slots for modified spells. It’s complicated, but I’ll walk you through it.  

Donut: WHAT ABOUT NEPO BABY? THAT COMES WITH A CREDIT CARD. 

Mordecai: The money buff is a good idea now that you’re broke, but it takes a chunk out of your charisma every time you use the card. We don’t want that. I like the coder one still. 

Donut: OKAY, I PICKED IT.

Mordecai: Good. Get here as soon as you can. The pig is getting restless. She, uh, just picked a complicated race and class combo while I was distracted by you guys.  

I was hoping Penny would’ve taken a deal, but the pig was the least of my worries right now. 

The original plan had been to turn Scolopendra into a pet that I could keep in my own inventory, which would create a failsafe device. 

Instead, because of Eris’s fuckery with our inventory, Scolopendra—Sexy Scolopendra—was a crawler. Worse, a crawler who was magically in love with me, which was fucked-up on so many levels I could barely comprehend it. 

I didn’t know what we were going to do about her. She was level 1. Despite that, if anything happened to her, she would still unleash the last seven of her 9-tier attacks. Mordecai seemed to think that the spells would be just as powerful as before. 

And she also now had a blood bar, meaning we couldn’t keep her in a saferoom. This was going to be difficult. 

Boop. I didn’t even want to think about that last part. A deep well of revulsion filled me as I remembered the feeling of her warm body and pointy legs wrapping around me. I had no idea what we were going to do about that. There had to be a way to break the spell. 

We did have something that would protect us from her attacks, but we’d lost it. The memorial crystal from Apito. Taranis now had it.  

We needed a plan, and fast. But first we needed to all get to safety. 

Carl: Everyone sound off. 

Prepotente: I am here. The closest safe room appears to be in Larracos, and I am headed there. Beware, there is a high-level illusion over the cotton that makes it difficult to see creatures. The spell is called Miasma. Dangerous mobs hide in the cotton, and this Miasma keeps them hidden on the map unless you have high-level perception. Thankfully, it appears you are also hidden. I do not see any deities about. 

Imani: I’m here. I heard from Elle, and she’s doing her final race selection. 

I had everyone in our party except Lucia Mar and Florin, who’d left the floor before I could send the party invites. They were both in my chat, and I sent the invite now. 

I took a breath, still going over the insane events from the end of the previous floor. Emberus was dead. Samantha was gone. The dungeon’s final boss was “defeated.” The exit on the now-empty 18th floor was open.

Thirteen crawlers left. Honestly, after that deal offer from Quasar, I was surprised it wasn’t less. 

I activated Find Crawler, going through the list. 

We were scattered everywhere. Donut was getting close. I caught sight of some of the other names already here. Imani. Makana, the guy from Hawaii. Lingfun the Chinese crawler who’d taken the monkey king race. Florin and Lucia Mar were already in Larracos. Prepotente was near them. I didn’t see Penny or Scolopendra because they were in a safe room. 

Thirteen crawlers. I ran over them in my head. Me. Donut. Prepotente. Imani. Elle. Florin. Lucia Mar. Jurgen, Makana. Lingfun. Penny. Sexy Scolopendra.   

Wait, I thought. I was missing someone. It had to be one of the two other guys from Lingfun’s group. But hadn’t they joined the party at the end of the previous floor? Neither were listed now, and I didn’t see them on the map. They must’ve gotten themselves to a saferoom. 

Florin: Got a huge problem, mate. It’s about Lucia. Meet me in Larracos as soon as you can. 

Carl: On my way as soon as I gather Donut. I sent a party request.

Florin: Can’t accept it because I’m in a party with the other two.  

Carl: Two? 

And only then did I remember what I’d seen at the end of the previous floor. Lucia Mar had a kid with her. 

Florin: Uh, yeah. It’s a little complicated. Lucia just vomited a little kid named Tillie into the dungeon. And that kid is now a crawler. She’s like seven years old. My original game guide Selice has been assigned her guide for the floor, and the kid is going through race and class selection now while we wait outside.  

Carl: What? How? Is she a human?   

Florin: Right. That’s the question, ain’t it? She sure looks human, and it says she’s human, and she’s got a crawler number. But this ain’t a normal kid. Not by a longshot. Just get here as soon as you can. 

Christ, I thought. 

Rend let out an excited grunt, which was followed by a corresponding screech of joy from Mongo, who suddenly appeared through the miasma like he’d been invisible, bounding joyfully toward us.

“Carl, there you are!” Donut called. She was just behind Mongo, walking toward us, pushing her way through the cotton. “You will not believe what my useless lawyer did! She again tried to...” 

The two dangers appeared at the same moment. The mob, and the hidden trap. The trap that Mongo was about to step on. 

“Watch out!” I called. Too late. 

Chapter 2

ZZZZtt. An electrical bolt shot through the dinosaur, causing multiple feathers to pop off him. 

Mongo made a pitiful, strangled grunt and fell over on his side. An odd, stylized pentagram-like notification appeared over his head and started to spin. His health bar began to rapidly plummet.

“Mongo!” Donut shouted, leaping forward. Rend let out a grunt and pushed past me to get to him. 

The hidden monster appeared a few meters away, rising from the cotton fields, much too large to have really been hidden by the shrubs. 

It was the unsettlingly familiar form of a giant spider. 

I was about to hit Protective Shell then use Gloom Wraith Phase to put a hole through the monstrosity, despite the massive level difference, when I paused. The spider’s dot was white.  

“Help Mongo. I got this!” I shouted as Donut turned toward the spider, a terrifying look of outrage on her face. Her claw caps were off, and her paw glowed. 

“Stop,” I yelled. “Don’t attack! Don’t attack!” 

The beast continued to rise from the cotton until it towered above us, its limbs creaking and cracking like tree branches. The motion was strange, almost like I was watching a scene that had been reversed, making each movement uncanny and jarring. 

For the briefest moment, I thought this was Shi Maria. 

It was the same type of spider creature as the insane demigod, but this one wasn’t quite as big. Her long, twisty neck also featured the horrific face of a multi-eyed woman, but older somehow with stringy white hair. She wore a wide-brimmed hat made of straw that glowed with enchantment. She carried a wry expression upon her face, and most notably, she was missing the center eye Shi Maria could open to drive one to madness. 

The most distinctive feature of the monster was the baskets upon her back. There were hundreds of them, all painted bright colors. Each one was a different shape, and most glowed with the same sort of enchantment magical doors carried. Some of the baskets, I could tell, were actually portals. I didn’t have time to examine them properly. The baskets rose high into the air, and they flickered oddly in the strange light.

There was a second creature here I hadn’t noticed at first. It moved amongst the baskets, slithering from one to the next, peeking in each one. An octopus. The creature was terrifyingly big, about the size of a small human, which was bigger than the giant pacific octopus I would occasionally see in the waters around Seattle. Before I could examine it, it disappeared into a basket. 

I returned my attention to the spider. An NPC. The eye tattoo on my own chest twitched as I read the description. 

Lilith. Level 180 Reaper Spider Minion. 

This NPC is a devotee of Osmodeus. 

This is a traveling merchant. 

Warning: This merchant carries insurance for all of her wares. You probably don’t know what that means in this context, but I’ll tell you this much. In cases of thievery or loss, someone will get fucked. And that someone is never the insurance company. 

Warning: You are carrying a debt to the Collector. All items you purchase from this merchant may be claimed by the Collector regardless of where they are on your person or inventory.

You already know what a Reaper Spider Minion is, sort of, but you don’t know much about the master these creatures serve. His name is Osmodeus. You should probably find out who that is. He and his three brothers—Amayon, Kimaris, and Baal—are usually quite content to bicker amongst themselves, waiting for the End of Days before they finally make their move.

Well, guess where we are bitches?   

Anyway, this is Lilith, and she is a traveling merchant. Traveling merchants work much similarly to regular merchants. She’ll sell you stuff.  

The good news is, these mysterious denizens of Sheol almost always have exactly what you need hidden somewhere in their baskets. But as we all know, the convenience of having something delivered directly to you almost always comes with hidden fees.

Note: Your Reaper Spider Minion merchant patch will not function properly in an area affected by the Miasma spell. However, now that you’ve examined this specific merchant, she and any of her assistants will appear on your map if they are within a kilometer of your position.   

Donut bounced back and forth around Mongo in a panic. She’d already hit him with both a potion and a spell. The spell brought his health back up, but the pentagram debuff didn’t go away, and his health continued to rapidly seep.

I examined his condition.

Claimed. 

This beast has been claimed by Inanna. He shall fall and rise again in her service. 

“Carl, Carl, nothing’s working! My Heal Critter isn’t doing anything!”

I was reminded, suddenly, of a similar scene in a temple on the eighth floor. Of Paz and Anton, who’d been killed by the god Ogun. 

Mongo let out a little groan, raising one winged arm, like he was attempting to get up and put himself between Donut and the spider. The dinosaur let out a pitiful hiss and growl at the creature, whose neck twisted as she looked down at the pet with curiosity. 

“Your companion has been cursed,” the woman said, her voice a strange, singsong hiss, not quite the same as Shi Maria, but similar.

“Cursed by you!” Donut shouted, turning to face the giant spider, her hair all poofed out. She was shaking with rage. “You set that trap! What did you do? How do we fix him?”

Rend let out a growl and looked as if he was about to charge at the spider. 

Donut was already in chat, three messages out at once, demanding if anyone knew how to fix the “claimed” debuff.

“I did not set Inanna’s trap,” the spider hissed. “I do not interfere with the machinations of the Ascendency. But I did happen notice the trap, and I set up shop nearby, waiting for a customer to appear who may be in need of my services. Your pet will suffer and die, but he will rise again with a singular, undead purpose, and that is to seek out and find his new master, the goddess Inanna, whose congregation hid this trap. I simply saw an opportunity. Surely you can’t fault me for attempting to make a living?”

Mordecai: You need a potion called Reconciliation. We don’t have time. That spider will have what you need, but be careful what she asks for in exchange. This is what they do. 

The creature straightened her limbs, causing her to rise even further into the air, forcing us all to look up. A strangely sweet scent, like cheap perfume, filled the fields around us.

“...But, I may carry a potion or two that will cure your pet of this unfortunate curse.” 

“How much is it?” Donut healed Mongo again, but the pentagram was spinning more quickly now, and his health was plummeting faster by the moment. 

Donut: CARL, WE DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY LEFT!

Carl: I know. Stay calm. Mongo will be okay. She’s not going to want money. 

“For you, champion of Nekhebit? The price is free. I see how upset you are, and I hope to do more business with in you in the near future. Consider it a gift. Though there is something you can do for me right now. Me or one of my sisters may wish to speak with Nekhebit, as we have a message to convey to the esteemed goddess.” She made a clicking noise. “If you agree to simply tell the goddess we wish to speak, that would be much appreciated.”   

Donut gave me a fearful, sidelong glance. I nodded. 

“I sent her a message,” Donut said. “I’ll tell you if she responds.” 

“Willow,” the spider said. “Fetch the potion.” 

The octopus, whose name was apparently Willow, appeared and slithered off the back of the spider, landing amongst the shrubs with a plop. She made a gurgling noise and slithered to Donut. She dropped the white, bubbling potion in front of us. 

“It’ll work,” the octopus said in a shy, feminine voice. 

I examined the potion, then gently broke it on Mongo’s back. The spinning pentagram went away. 

“A pleasant transaction,” Lilith clicked. She looked back and forth between us, head spinning, a slight line of drool dangling from her fanged mouth. “I know you two are new to the Ascendency Halls, so I will give you some advice, also for free. In this place, you make friends with the powerful, or you die. Those are the rules.” She turned her head to face me. “My master Osmodeus also wishes...”   

Bam! 

Lilith the spider merchant exploded, showering white goo and baskets in every direction. It happened so fast and so violently that I let out a shriek. The cotton shrubs exploded out of the ground in a circle around the monster, leaving nothing but bare earth covered with a thin layer of ice. Ice that was on fire.  

The Scavenger’s Daughter has opened her eyes. 

You are in the presence of a deity. 

Temporary Effect from the Mourning Comet: 

Immunity to all fire spells and effects, including Sheol fire. 

“Here’s the problem,” a new but familiar voice said. 

The goddess appeared floating just above where the spider had been standing. She was a small, blue form covered with white-hot flames, her eyes smoldering with intensity. On my map, she appeared as a star, though that star was the same shade of blue as that of a fellow crawler.

The goddess slowly started to descend, landing right in front of us. She left a faint trail of sparkling dust as she settled. She brushed off her shoulder, which was covered in spider guts. 

“We don’t follow the rules anymore, you creepy asshole,” she said to the pile of goo. 

Mongo, whose health was finally starting to stabilize, let out a peep of joy. Rend let out a happy giggle.    

“Elle?” Donut asked.