Break Update! (Patreon)

Hello, all patrons!

It's been a while since you've last heard from me, and I hope you've all been having a wonderful month!

Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing for myself despite my intention of it being a creative break. I initially wanted to focus on streaming and venture more into that space to see what it felt like with audios on the backburner. Personally, it's been a great addition and nice change of pace. Instead—and I won't go into too much detail—this month has probably been one of the worst months I've experienced in a very long time. Every day has been a struggle for me, and it doesn't seem to be getting better.

Before, I felt I was burning out, though in what sense I wasn't sure. Even now, I can't quite pinpoint it, but it's likely an amalgamation of reasons. I thought that taking a break from work would help ease the stress, but I feel worse than I did before the break started.

And I have no idea why. Happiness doesn't come to me. Excitement and vigour doesn't come to me. Not even sadness. The only thing that's kept me relatively sane and has given me a morsel of motivation to get out of bed is reworking my novel.

So, with that said, it's highly likely that I'll be taking off July as well and pausing another payment. I cannot return to making any kind of content for all of you in my current state. The audios will be shit, streams will be drab; the community doesn't deserve it, and I won't subject you to any of that. I can't promise anything, and I won't until I know I can uphold them.

I don't know exactly what I need to fix the way I've been feeling, but I'll continue to search for it. All I ask is for your patience while I figure this out.

Thank you all for sticking by me, and I hope you take care of yourselves~

Love, Saku.