Just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in (Patreon)

Hello chupacabras,

(If you don't know what a chupacabra is, I'd recommend not looking it up. I mean it as a term of endearment but the reality is quite awful.)

I noticed several emails recently asking if I was dead so thought I'd drop in to say not yet, apologise for still breathing, thank some new supporters in the most offensive way I can, make some recommendations, then fuck off for a few more months without explanation. I'm joking about that last bit. The rest are genuine intentions though.

How are you? You're looking well. That new bow tie/tiara/scarf/swingable iron mace really suits you. I've been thinking a bunch recently about how I don't really do much for those of you who've subscribed on here besides sending out daft messages every few months. I notice other folks on Patreon give out pins and badges and calendars and the like. I ummed-and-errered for a while about maybe hiring someone to take Patreon a bit more seriously and organise things like this, but the idea of telling another person what to do with money involved has never struck me as a fun process. (It's just as bad the other way around. As you can imagine, I've always been just the most helpful and motivated employee and don't have the slightest problem with authority whatsoever.) So I'm not sure if I can provide physical objects for your support, much as I'd like to. What might be an idea though is involving you a bit more in the whole process, if you'd like that. Some of you write with script suggestions and they're always very welcome, thanks for those – but another possibility: a few months ago I started work on something I hope will turn into the next book I put out. I won't spoil anything but there are some rather common threads with The Fifth Science if you know that one, broken chronology and lots of being miserable at the end of time etc. I've already abandoned about 40,000 words that just didn't quite fit or were chasing after the wrong story or whatever else. As a general rule, I usually just delete all that stuff because it's terrible or half-baked, but if you'd prefer I can make it public on here when it's all finished. I throw out about 10x more than I ever put up online, there's no reason I couldn't do the same with discarded scripts if you're curious, make it all public I mean. Well, just a thought. If you have any other suggestions for bribes – excuse me, Patreon rewards – mm, still not right – thank yous, then I'm all ears.

Anyway, I just dropped in to say hai. I've been working on a video about metaphysics that should be out shortly, and I do hope you like it. Plus some excuses for video essays for the second channel about the zen of cooking and astronomy and why I would rather eat my own spleen than buy an air fryer.

I spent a while in bed with the flu and have to say it was unexpectedly pleasant to be bed-bound. There's no possible chance you can get up and work, so you stop worrying about it for a while and consume written and televised nonsense instead. Enormous and relieving fun except for the flu part. Though of course you're fantasising about getting better again and can't believe you took good health so much for granted, and of course the second you're better you forget how ill you were and immediately return to being an ungrateful prick about it all and move on to new and exciting things to worry about. Ridiculous. I'm thinking of the crisis inducer from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Patreon won't let me throw a hyperlink in for some reason, so: https://hitchhikers.fandom.com/wiki/Crisis_Inducer)  a device that could trick you into thinking you had a broken arm or sprained leg when you didn't, just to give you the joy of working against a disadvantage.

And finally, obligatorily, some recommendations.

Maybe you haven't seen Killers of the Flower Moon yet. In which case could I gently suggest you immediately stop reading this and go to the cinema and see it. I'm no massive Scorsese fan but this was something else; the story of a group of Native Americans who found oil on their land, ended up getting rather rich off it, then attracted the attention of several murderous bastards who were interested in the money for themselves. And the thing is entirely based on a goddamn true story. Gorgeously filmed, perfectly written, and utterly heartbreaking. Can recommend.

Baldur's Gate 3, did we talk about that one? Finally an RPG where you can spend upwards of 50 hours levelling up your attack spells only to discover that pushing people right the fuck off ledges and cliffs is the best combat strategy. Genuinely though: wow. A friend and I have been doing respective playthroughs and I can't believe just what different experiences we're having. Some minor choice in the early game or some random dialogue decision you made because you'd had one too many glasses of wine, suddenly the universe changes around it. To those of you in the know, I accidentally turned everyone at Last Light Inn into zombies, whereas my friend saved that magic lady from the angry winged dude and we're both now playing completely different storylines. The attention to detail is absolutely insane, I'm not sure I'll ever quite comprehend how deep it runs. (It goes without saying that the only respectable class is sorcerer.)

Lock In, a John Scalzi novel I've been avoiding for ages now for some reason, that was quite a ride, I can recommend it. What would actually happen if 1% of the population fell mysteriously ill and ended up unable to move or communicate for the rest of their lives? The fact that the audiobook version was narrated by Wesley from Star Trek TNG added a whole bunch to the enjoyment also.

And finally something I may have recommended before but by Jove I'll do it again: Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. I get rather stuck with writing often for weeks at a time and descend into just the most pathetically self-pitying state, a condition I'm absolutely certain at the time no one else ever has or ever could experience because I'm just that unique in my problems, what a unicorn I am etc etc etc. These days I go back to Bird by Bird. And there's always the right words waiting in there to gently remind me, no, you're not that special but you should probably just keep going, it'll be fine. If you're a wanderer on the art path or confronting any of the strange hydra heads that come with making stuff, I would strongly suggest having more Anne Lamott in your life. She's the ultimate nurturing voice of creativity and she swears like a trooper too.

Anyway. New stuff coming soon, promise. I hope you're doing well, weird as the world is at the moment. If you've just joined then a huge thank you for the support, and if you've been around for a while, well you should know better but an enormous thank you to you also.

Big love as always,

Ex