"Jeffrey Epstein and I Don't Care" (Patreon)

I admit it -- this one is ugly. But I also think it's funny. I suspect you'll be able to figure out the tune.

I like ‘em young, I like ‘em hot,

A teen beauty pageant I once bought.

But my life changed, I’ll tell you why --

I met Ghislaine Maxwell and her guy.

Jeffrey Epstein and I don't care

How they complain or when or where

They look so good, just standing there,

We have to have our way.

Ghislane recruited beauty queens,

The average age, about fifteen.

She used enticement, lies, and guile...

And now they're in the Epstein file.

Jeffrey Epstein and I don't care,

Having girls in his secret lair,

When you’re a star, you can touch ‘em there,

Then ask her “come and play”.

For many years, we had our fun,

Was sometimes two or three on one,

But the DOJ came after awhile...

They’d assembled their own Epstein file.

Jeffrey Epstein, I don't care,

What happens to you, caught in that snare,

For fifteen years, I only bare-

Ly met the man each day.

In prison for statutory rape,

Something glitched his security tape,

He died, and Pam Bondi wondered why --

The verdict was a suicide.

Jeffrey Epstein is out of there,

Six feet under, c’est la guerre.

But have no fear, I don't despair --

He can't incriminate me.

Now the only one left in a cell

Is Ghislane Maxwell, I wish her well.

She'll be released in a little while...

For saying I’m not in Epstein’s file.

National Guard in Washington Square,

Gerrymandering, Russian affair,

Why won't the press look over there?

Disaster’s on the way.