New Lyrics: "Woke Marxist Pope" (Patreon)

Suggested by Kevin Clark (who wrote lines 9-12), ttto “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper

Lying in state now,

Pope Francis suggested you,

Both of the mindset

Of “What would Jesus do?”

Flashback, Chi-Town,

I’m filled with hope,

White Sox, hot dogs,

Someday being --

After the Conclave,

Dark smoke is turned to light.

New pope with new name,

Pissing off the MAGA right.

They say no go,

He’s too darn kind,

They bitched and moaned and whined --

What they want’s an authoritarian guy,

But we say nope.

Got an immigrant loving bridge-building type,

Woke Marxist Pope.

If somebody's in need, he won't be resting,

That's not his trope.

If you fall he will catch you, you’ll have his blessing,

Woke Marxist Pope.

All of their spokesmen

And influencers freaking out.

Doesn't he know that White

Jesus leaves no room for doubt?

Cruelty, hatred,

A slippery slope,

He cares, they just can't cope --

They want someone who hates those who won't conform,

But now they mope

‘Cause the new guy’s compassionate, kind, and warm,

Woke Marxist Pope.

It's not their biz,

But they interlope,

The Vatican says nope --

They want someone who hates people that they hate,

A misanthrope.

If they're not careful, he’ll excommunicate --

Woke Marxist Pope.

They don't even know what “woke” or “Marxist” mean,

Or “love” or “hope”.

If there's grace to be had, they'll be found wanting,

Woke Marxist Pope.