New Lyrics: "Alien Duckling" (Patreon)

Lar has a new cartoon, I have a new song. Not sure I'm gonna bother with the little lines before the final chorus. To the tune of "The Ugly Duckling" from the 1952 Danny Kaye movie Hans Christian Andersen ( https://youtu.be/DHHa9T73fMU?si=-r6BJOEDdsgm8Op3 ).

There once was an alien duckling,

Who burst out of a crewman's chest

And the other ducks said “this really sucks,

Till we catch him, we can't rest.

Meanwhile, clean up (ick, yech), clean up (eeugh bleah),

Clean up this mess.”

And he went with a clack and a scuttle and a clack

Looking for a nice place to nest.

That poor little alien duckling

Went skittering ’cross the floor,

And the other ducks tried to run and hide

In a room with a very thick door.

Saying (ptui) don't come (ptui ptui) don't come

(Ptui ptui) ‘round here no more.

But he went with a clack and a scuttle and a clack

And the room soon filled with gore.

Crawling through the air shafts, climbing up the wall,

Growing from a horseshoe crab to nearly eight feet tall.

Aided by an android who sent Weyland a report,

Acid blood, a tongue with teeth, and boldly he went forth,

He was a very fine xenomorph.

No longer an alien duckling,

With chitin all shiny and gray,

In movies and games, it's always the same --

You're impregnated or prey.

And if it's all the same to you,

I’d rather be prey all day.

And he goes with a clack and a scuttle and a clack

And a sword on his tail and exhaust pipes in back

And his head so phallic and long --

We’re not quite sure what he is, but

He's just wrong!

Just wrong.

Music: "The Ugly Duckling" by Frank Loesser